My husband and I consider ourselves to be part Italian. For many years, he worked with a woman whom we referred to as his “work wife.” She was Italian and adopted us into her large Italian family. We were fiercely loved and well fed.
There are, as with my Irish ancestors, many types of Italians. Enter Columbo and Vinny.
Columbo was a rumpled, seemingly inept police lieutenant who investigated murders. The crime drama television series ran in the 1970s and starred Peter Falk as Lieutenant Columbo. Columbo ALWAYS got his man (or his woman). His signature tag line was, “Just one more thing.” He drove his victims absolutely crazy with his never-ending, “Oh, sir! (Or ma’am) Just one more thing.”
Then there is the movie, “My Cousin Vinny,” with Joe Pesci playing the part of Vincent, AKA Vinny, Gambini. Among the many classic scenes in the movie is the one where Vinny’s girlfriend, Mona Lisa Vito, is ragging on him for not marrying her while her biological clock is ticking away. Vinny is trying to defend his cousin and his friend from a crime they didn’t commit, and things aren’t going well. Vinny’s response (edited, since I want to keep my blog G-rated) is, “Is there any more sh** we can pile onto the outcome of this case??? Is it possible???”
Lately, I’m beginning to feel like I have Columbo on one side and Vinny on the other. Another symptom, another test, another “finding” on my scans. The reports often read, “It might be ABC, but XYZ can’t be ruled out.” My medical team has expanded to include oncology, neurosurgery, neurology, pulmonology, and gastroenterology. Orthopedic surgery is on standby. I’ve probably forgotten at least one specialty, but I’m sure they’ll be calling me soon to talk about “just one more thing.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for each specialty, but I don’t know who the quarterback on my medical team is. For example, I’m supposed to contact my doctor if my temperature reaches 100.4 degrees. Which doctor? Primary Care? Oncology? Dermatology? (Just kidding about that one. So far, I haven’t needed that specialty.) The fevers don’t happen during office hours. Oh, no, they spike at 9 pm on a Saturday night after I’ve been vomiting all day. I end up calling the doctor I’ve seen most recently and getting connected with whomever is on call. They refer me to Urgent Care and off I go to get IV fluids and whatever meds they think will help.
Recent swallowing issues and a persistent cough have been added to my list of concerns. Is my cancer progressing to some new spot in my body? Maybe, but maybe not. Are my symptoms getting better or worse? It depends on the day. It’s like playing the arcade game of “Whack-a-mole” where one symptom gets better but then another gets worse. This arcade is really getting tiresome, and, unlike Chuck E. Cheese, they don’t serve pizza here. I probably couldn’t swallow it anyway.
So, that’s where we are right now. My calendar is filling up with appointments for “Just one more thing.” This leaves me wondering, “Is there is any more (you know what) we can pile onto the outcome of this case?”
Fortunately, the good days still outnumber the bad ones. And if things get really bad, I’ll pull out my copy of “My Cousin Vinny,” and laugh ‘til it hurts.
Carol
Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul.
Just one more thing, Ma’am, we know how this ends. You WILL BEAT CANCER and live forever!
Spot on, with a side of humor and irony, as usual. Thinking of you, Carol. Thank you for allowing us to follow you personal journey…
Diane, I’m sorry I didn’t see your comment sooner. Thank you for your support. I truly appreciate it.
Perfectly said Carol, I love your sense of humor. Sometimes you just have to laugh too. My husband and I are Italian and I always say more “crappola” today. Thanks ,I enjoyed it!
Andrea/Cookie54
Thank you, Andrea/Cookie54. The laughter gets us through, right?
I love your humor and spunkiness. Sounds like Vinny and Columbo are sometimes troublesome Italian “cousins”. Courage!
Thank you, Tammy!
Thanks again Carol for sharing your journey and letting your positive energy and sense of humor shine through it all.
Thank you, Maryann.
Carol you are never a whiner. NEVER! Your writing, your humor, your honesty move me to laughter and to tears. The strength and courage you share with us in each post is inspiring. Thank you so very much.
Lisa, you are always so kind and supportive. I truly appreciate it! 🤗💕
I agree with Diana. You are amazing! Your insights are spot on like the always inquisitive Columbo! Your blog is appropriately named! We love you dearly and are praying for your strength to find your health again!
Thank you, Mike. We both feel the love!
You are absolutely amazing, Carol !
Thank you, Diana. I appreciate your support. I feel like there is a fine line between sharing what is really going on and whining about my life. I never want to be a whiner, but I also want to be honest. Hopefully, I can inject enough humor into this crazy ride that it minimizes the whining.