A few months ago, my husband and I were driving from San Diego to Bishop to see our kids. In case you didn’t know we had kids, we were adopted by our son at his tender age of 20-something. When he met and married the woman of his dreams, we gladly welcomed our new daughter-in-law into our lives. We are truly blessed by them. But I digress.
The drive to Bishop takes approximately 5 1/2 hours if we time it just right. If we want to avoid Riverside traffic, we need to leave either very early (before 4 AM) or very late (after 10 PM.) This time we chose to leave late but, for whatever reason, the traffic was still heavy. As we crawled along beside miles and miles of semi-trucks, we came to one of those lighted highway warning signs. You know – the kind that says, “CLICK IT OR TICKET,” or “REPORT DRUNK DRIVERS,” or “GUSTY WINDS AHEAD.” You’ve seen them, right? This sign said, “TARP YOUR LOAD.”
I don’t know why we thought that sign was so funny, but we both started laughing. We started coming up with all the times we could use that phrase. Say we’re talking with someone who is about to blow his top. We could say, “Dude, TARP YOUR LOAD!” Or what if we’re observing someone who’s ranting and raving at the slow cashier at the Target checkout counter, and is being very vocal about being inconvenienced? “TARP YOUR LOAD!” The driver behind us has ants in his pants and is riding our bumper. Do you see? The possibilities are endless. And “TARP YOUR LOAD” sounds so much more original than just “put a lid on it!” or “calm down!” or even something less kind.
What struck me about the words on the sign was the analogy to my life. There are many times when I need to tarp my load. Sometimes I just need to shut my mouth and walk away. Maybe I need to say “thank you” when I’m feeling anything but thankful. Perhaps I need to smile at the person who is annoying me. It could be that person is having a worse day than I am and could quite possibly be equally annoyed with me. (Of course, that would never happen.) All those things I’m itching to say are right on the verge of flying out of my mouth.
But just because it entered my head doesn’t mean it needs to exit my mouth, even if I’ve convinced myself that the person deserves to be told what I think. Sometimes, what flies out of my untarped load is the size of a Starbucks cup. That’s probably not a big deal (except for littering.) But what if it’s the size of a mattress? Or an extension ladder? That’s a really big deal and someone could get seriously hurt because I didn’t tarp my load. Words can hurt, and the old “Sticks and Stones” saying got it totally wrong.
I don’t ever want to allow cancer, or any other situation in my life, to let me think I’m entitled to not tarp my load. I never want my words to inflict damage on anyone – whether that damage is great or small. I expect there will come a time when my health deteriorates, or the pain is bad, and I’m unhappy and cranky. But, please, God, let me and my words always be kind. And if I can’t do it, God, would you please tarp my load for me? Everyone around me would really appreciate it.
Carol
Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul.
Absolutely LOVE this, Carol. Hope Matt and Lindsay are doing well, please say hello to them from me. I find this saying very appropriate and an excellent reminder for everyone! Sending much love to you and Marty.
Carol. I am a stranger–just found your blog after I saw a CalTrans sign advising me to tarp my load! I thought it was hilarious and that it should be my new catchphrase (said with an extra thick Scottish accent), and wandered online to see if and where it lived in the internet. Just commenting to say you sound like a lovely person with many blessings as well as a heavy burden, and a gift for being a light in the world. I’m praying for you and yours from up here in the Bay Area.
Clancy, wow! Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad you got a laugh out of it and can’t believe you saw the same sign and had the same reaction. We, too, thought it was hilarious. I grew up in the Bay Area and have many fond memories of the area. Thank you for your prayers. They are always very much appreciated.
Carol
Love this, Carol. I suspect I will be admonishing myself often with this new phrase… But I will think of you with a smile every time I do!
If I can bring a smile to anyone’s face, I’ll be happy – if I’m not too busy tarping my own load!
Loved the reminder to “tarp my load”…I’ve needed that reminder this week, and thought you might be glad to know that this phrase came to mind at the time. Sometimes the tarp doesn’t seem to be bungied down completely, but I’ll keep working on it. Keep writing!
Thank you, Tammy! The image of the one corner I neglected to bungie down made me smile. That annoying flapping sound and then the battering of your vehicle with that loose corner. Yikes!
I think this is great advice Carol because of your historically short fuse. 😎 I’m afraid they might hit me if I say that, but I definitely agree that I want people to tell me to “tarp my load“ if need be! 😜
Thank you, Joe. I AM Irish, you know! So, it’s not my fault! (She said with a snicker.)
Carol—To begin with, You can tell me to”Tarp my load”, but I want to hear more about your digression at the beginning of this blog—talk more about your “adoptive” son and daughter in law, in Bishop! Bob
Hahaha, Bob. No need to tarp your load. You may have met Matt at one of our holiday parties. Lindsay came to at least one of them pre-COVID. They’ll be down this Memorial Day weekend to visit us. You’ll probably see us out and about.
Carol
Oh Carol how appropriate in all our lives!! I’ve bought extra large tarps and over – sized bungee cords so I’ll be prepared for my upcoming times of need! Now, all I have to do is put it into practice!!!!! Thanks for always being the luminous beacon of light 💡!!
Agreed, Mike. If God doesn’t step in in my time of need, I hope you’ll do it. It may take two strong men to get the job done with me!
Love it, and also a good reminder on how to behave.
I have yet to actually say this to someone. I can’t wait to see the expression on their face when I do!